What Defines Maturity?

What defines maturity? I have been encouraged to think about this quite a lot lately. Is it always looking like you have your life figured out? Is it living on your own and having a career? Is it being married with kids? Or is there something more? The Lord has been gently and patiently teaching me His definition of maturity - and it has been a bit shocking for me to recognize it.

I grew up with the idea that I always need to act my age - which is true, mind you. I need to stand up and do something with my life, act like a lady, put away childish things, and be a mature adult. So, as a result, I took that to mean I had to figure my life out. To me, I had to always act like a lady, put away childish things, and "be a mature adult." That meant refusing to do things that could appear childish such as goofing around, acting silly, and having fun, basically. Being mature meant that I had to have my life on track; I had to have a stable career, home life, relationship, etc. I basically looked down upon people who didn't have the same "high standards" as I did. Nothing could interrupt or delay my plans. I had my life completely put together and nothing was going to stop me.

All of those ideas about being "mature" carried over into my life as a believer. Somehow I still thought that my life had to be planned out and that I had to know everything that was going to happen to me. At least...up until about this last month. I was having a conversation with a friend when he helped me realize that I really didn't know what I was going to do with my life. That is when the Lord began to really humble me more than He already had been. After I made my decision to stay at school, I thought that my relationship with the Lord would immediately feel blissful and worry-free again. It didn't.

I continued to have that almost "disconnected" feeling with the Lord, even after I made the decision to stay. I began to think, "If I don't take care of this feeling now, then I'll end up falling into all kinds of sin." Panic filled my heart. I began to work harder at finding out how I could regain my worry-free lifestyle again. And here I was, trying to find a way to fix my own problems instead of coming to the end of myself and asking the Lord to fix it. He is really teaching me.

It all came to a head last night in a conversation with a very good friend of mine who confronted me on what she saw as a potential pride issue. I think I took more away from that conversation than she intended. I realized that, in my desire to appear "mature", I was presenting myself in a very immature way. My so-called maturity was showing my level of immaturity! By ensuring that I wasn't acting "childish", I was making myself out to be something I was not. Needless to say, I am very thankful for that conversation. I woke up pretty subdued this morning - in a good way. Per Pete Bargas, maturity can be described as follows: "Maturity moves beyond fun and compatible to seek faithfulness, selflessness, and humility." I like that definition.

I decided to write about all of this just to share what the Lord has been teaching me in my life as of late. I am truly being humbled! It is God's grace that has opened my heart to correction and it is by that same grace that I know I will continue to grow in Him. Oftentimes I feel as though I will not ever be able to conquer certain sins in my life, but that is self-focused thinking. The Lord is able to strengthen me. I cannot strengthen myself, nor will I ever conquer sin. But I don't have to - because He already has on the cross! I am so thankful for Romans 8; I am no longer under condemnation and nothing will separate me from the love of Christ. Nothing. Even my pride. Ever.